Does it happen to you too?  When things you have to deal with NOW come in faster than you can process them?  

Some are actual things, like a leaking faucet, or a broken dryer belt...but you gotta fix it NOW.  Others are physical things, like waking up with a stomach bug you have no idea where it came from, but you gotta get on that toilet seat NOW. Or maybe your doctor calls and says "IÏ'm sending an order over to the lab for a  ____ test, and I need you to go have it done as soon as possible"  Then there are the emotional things:  you find out someone you love is gravely ill, or an old friend with whom things ended rockily calls, or someone screws you over.

I've now had a week like this. Like many other people, I find this a bit stressful.  Stress is not a good thing for an SLE patient like me.  So I have also now spent three days dealing with the physical toll stress takes on me.  That means I have had less energy to deal with the things I have to deal with.  So I'm now several days behind, which makes life ever more stressful.

I'm trying to get back into my happy place.  When I'm there, time slows such that a tortoise moves faster.  I get an incredible amount done in just a few hours.Working in the garden almost always puts me there.  However, exposure to sunlight generally intensifies my fatigue and aches, so that really isn't an option this time. I have prayed, and meditated and gotten nowhere nearer my happy place.  I have obtained some enlightenment however.  

I have realized that the reason I am separated from my happy place is that I have been wronged, I lost my cool, and although I got it off my chest, I am disappointed because I realize that the person who wronged me will never acknowledge that she did. I am pretty sure that behind her behavior is some mental illness.  I'm not sure what it is, but she reminds me of my bipolar cousin:  secretive, suspicious of others to the point of irrational paranoia, game-playing, deflective, projective, and manipulative.  I'm sure that I will feel better when this person is completely out of my life.  So if you are the praying type, please pray that she exits quickly and silently.  Thank you.
 


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