I was listening to John Stewart last night, when he discussed the NRA position on silencers.  This is my reaction.

Please let everyone have silencers on their guns! I would hate to be disturbed by the sound of gunfire while I'm shopping at the mall.  Gunfire would interrupt my peaceful traverse as I examine store windows and take my lunch in the Food Court!  After all, I might feel that I need to seek shelter somewhere or even duck.

Above all, everyone should be able to have a silencer when they enter a church.  Gunfire might interrupt the service.

How wonderful it would have been at Newton if there had been a silencer on that gun!  Teachers could have gone on with their lessons, never realizing they needed to protect their students.  

How nice it would be if drive-by shooters had silencers.  Nobody would have to interrupt watching TV in the front room to run to the back of their house. Nor would anyone have had to make a pesky 911 call

How wonderful it would have been if Charles Whitman had had a silencer that day at the tower.  My friend and Sociology TA might not have had to interrupt his stroll to dive behind a planter!  Students would not have stayed inside buildings in safety.

Yes, by all means allow anyone who wants one to have a silencer.  Gabby Giffords and the crowd listening to her could simply have thought people were fainting in record numbers.

Nobody in that theater audience would have needed to hide in the cramped area between the seats!  

What a wonderful world it will be when nobody, including the police, is alerted to a mass shooting by the pesky sound of gunfire.

[For those who are sarcasm challenged, this entire story was sarcasm.]